Drop the Rules: What cooking teaches us about healing Part 7/7

Drop the Rules:

What cooking teaches us about healing

 

kitchen_TandyElisala

 

 

 

 

As we near the end of our 7 part Drop the Rules series, I hope you are learning some new tips to help with healing through grief and through life in general.

 

 

Part 1, we discussed forgiveness.

 

Part 2 , we discussed finding the blessings through every experience.

 

Part 3, we discussed the importance of support.

 

Part 4, we touched on the importance of recharging our batteries.

 

Part 5, we discussed nature’s role in facilitating healing.

 

Part 6, we touched on change.

 

 

 

Today, we end this series with what cooking teaches us about healing.pepper-93173_640

 

 

 

Cooking. This was something my daughter Amanda and my mom (her Grandma) shared. Her Grandma was wheelchair bound and couldn’t cook in the kitchen. The thing she could and did do is teach and bond with Amanda.

 

 

Amanda has always liked cooking and that was their ‘thing’ to do together during our care giving cooking-13812_640days and while her grandma and grandpa lived with us. After her grandma’s passing, Amanda didn’t want to cook.

 

 

Fast-forward, Amanda revealed to me that she loved cooking but felt bad that she was cooking without her grandma there. She felt that her cooking experience wasn’t the same. Thanksgiving 2013. Oh.My.Goodness. Amanda was back in full force!

 

 

What Amanda learned by being in the kitchen most of Thanksgiving week was that cooking was a way to honor her relationship with her grandma. She made  homemade cranberry sauce; which was one of her grandma’s favorite things.

 

 

With so much going on in the kitchen, she brought a chair and plopped herself in the middle; watching everything. I couldn’t help but feel my mom; her grandma, in the chair in these moments watching Amanda and beaming from ear to ear.  Amanda learned that she honors her grandma by doing the thing that they used to do together. That is healing.

 

 

IT’S YOUR TURN: Is there a routine you and a loved one share(d)? I know it may take time to be at a place where you can do these activities alone or with someone else. Please comment below and share what routine you shared/share with a loved one and what it means to you. Then, if it’s something you currently do with them, pick up the phone and tell them how much you appreciate them!

 

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Tandy Elisala Bio Pic

Tandy Elisala Bio Pic

Tandy Elisala, MA, CPSC, ACT, CHt, TFT-fAlg, is founder and CEO of Center for Inspiring Greatness.™  Tandy is a Care Giving Expert, Certified Professional Success Coach, Author and Consultant. She is certified in various alternative-healing modalities. Tandy has 25 years’ proven experience as a corporate executive, speaker and coach.  Tandy was a full-time caregiver for both parents simultaneously while kicking cancer’s butt a third time and raising three children as a single parent. Tandy lives in Phoenix, Arizona, with her three kids, two dogs, and three cats. Tandy’s book, Healing Through the Chaos: Practical Care-Giving is available for pre-order at http://www.tandyelisala.com

 

 

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© Copyright 2013, Tandy Elisala, http://www.centerforinspiringgreatness.com and http://www.tandyelisala.com. Permission is granted to copy, forward, or distribute this article for non-commercial use only, as long as this copyright byline and bio, in totality, is maintained in all duplications, copies, and link references.  For reprint permission for any commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Tandy at tandy@tandyelisala.com

 

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Tandy Elisala

Family Caregiver Coach, Cancer Empowerment Advocate and Chief Inspiration Officer at Center for Inspiring Greatness | Empowered Family Caregiver
Tandy Elisala is passionate about helping family caregivers go from being overwhelmed and stressed to empowered and calm. Tandy went through cancer four times and learned how to heal using conventional, complementary, and alternative therapy. Tandy left her corporate career to take care of both parents simultaneously while raising three kids as a single mom. She took care of both parents for 2 1/2 years until their respective deaths. Tandy now teaches what she learned on her journey. Tandy is a family caregiver coach, a multiple best-selling author, inspirational speaker and mom to three adult kids, one angel dog and one diva cat.

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9 replies
  1. Kimberly Eldredge
    Kimberly Eldredge says:

    My grandma is 87 and still cooks for her and my grandfather (also 87!) I LOVE visiting and “helping” Nana in the kitchen. To this day, bean taquitos are comfort food and what I always make in my own kitchen after a rough day.

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Awwww. That is a sweet story Kimberly. Thanks for sharing that. It’s special when you share a special recipe and tradition with loved ones, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply
  2. Sue Paananen
    Sue Paananen says:

    When I was 20, I visited my Grandma and sent word to her in advance that I’d like to make lefse with her. It was fun to learn that from my Grandma. She didn’t live very long after that, so I was really glad that I made a special visit to her back then. I’ve always loved to cook.

    Reply
    • TandyMain
      TandyMain says:

      Sue, thanks for stopping by. What an awesome experience to have with your Grandma before she died. These are memories you will always carry and this… is priceless! Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  3. Amy Bovaird
    Amy Bovaird says:

    Tandy, I received a msg saying my comment posted in duplicate earlier. But then I didn’t see even one. Not sure why. But let me start again. Sorry for your loss. I think Amanda is handling this well. I really enjoyed this post! I’ve been serving as a caretaker for my 84 year old mom since last March, ten months now. She fell two different times and broke a wrist each time. I’ve been involved with all of her therapy and have taken over many of the responsibilities of our house. At first, it really stressed me out — especially cooking dinner for us. But now I look forward to eating lunch with her and I really enjoyed helping her with therapy. Those memories will stay with me forever. I can’t imagine her not being here. I’m going to take you up on your suggestion, and tell her how much this time has meant to me. Thank you again for your constructive post.

    Reply
  4. Amy Bovaird
    Amy Bovaird says:

    Tandy, I enjoyed this post! I am caregiver for my mom who is 84. She fell and broke first one wrist, then the other so I’ve been doing a lot of things for and with her in the past eight months. I can’t imagine her not being here. She creates the heart of our home, even now that I’ve taken over most of the responsibilities. The part about honoring the one you shared the special ties with sticks out, and if they’re still here, tell them! I’m going to write a letter telling her how much I enjoy spending time doing her therapy and eating lunch with her. It’s been a tough eight months but now she’s getting a little more independent. We’ve had a lot of give and take and although it stressed me a lot at the start, it’s given me quite a bit of joy through these months. Thanks again for your post!

    Reply
    • TandyMain
      TandyMain says:

      Amy, I really enjoyed your comments. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for sharing your care giving experience with me. We were full-time caregivers for both of my parents full-time (for different reasons) and it was indeed an honor and a privilege to care for them. She will SO enjoy your letter Amy. Sometimes, those we care for may feel like they are a burden and what a gift to be able to share how grateful you are for her and the opportunity to spend this time with her.

      Reply
  5. Eydie Stumpf
    Eydie Stumpf says:

    I feel Amanda’s need to stop cooking – and I also applaud her to starting up again. Since my husband’s passing, there are some things I’ve stopped doing. Dale and I used to make Tuesday’s our Date Day and just get out of the house to do something fun. Well, it’s hard to go on a date with myself, but I suppose I should have an Eydie Day where I just take off once a week and go somewhere. HOWEVER, it’s no fun when you’re doing fun things alone.

    Eydie 🙂

    Reply
    • TandyMain
      TandyMain says:

      Eydie, I’m sorry for your loss. I understand what you are saying. It’s difficult to do things with yourself when your routine involved someone else for so long. I encourage you to take baby steps; maybe have a date day/self-care day with yourself once a month. You deserve to be good to yourself:-) I appreciate you sharing your experience here. Thanks so much.

      Reply

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