Are you open to meeting the love of your life or your new best friend?
Guest Article by: Rose Hawley-Perry
My friend Rose is a speaker for Your Vibrant Life Summit (you can still grab your free seat here for this one-of-a-kind 14 day event) and we talked about 3 simple changes to make in your daily routine to start getting the important sh&t done. What does meeting the love of your life have to do with this? Well… it’s about creating space for what we want in life. This was just one of several topics we tackled. Enjoy!
I hear many adults complain about how hard it is to find a life partner or even a new friend. I can certainly relate. I have been known to say that once you are out of school it is much harder to get close to new people, and it is. School is the perfect place to spend time with someone over and over again and to get to know them without having to purposely set up times to see someone.
However, I have to say I loved dating! So much so that sometimes I wish I would have done a little more dating. I got married to my high school sweetheart at 20 and then after my divorce I only dated about 6 months before I met my true love. I know I didn’t have a chance to get really tired of the whole thing but I also think that the way the I went into dating made all the difference, although at the time I was doing it for completely different reasons.
After the divorce I didn’t trust my instincts and wanted to make sure that I didn’t fall into dating a person that “felt right” because the feeling was familiar, i.e. like my ex. Also I wanted to take advantage of the powerful, wonderful feeling I had from taking control of my life. I honestly, had decided that being alone for the rest of my life was fine, but I like masculine energy. So I decided about 6 months after asking for a divorce to start dating but I gave myself some strict rules:
- No focusing on one person, this was a time to explore and so I let everyone I dated know that they were only one of the people I was dating. This particular rule lead me to the first person I had a date with who was also not interested in anything serious and we dated the entire time I was dating. We are friends today and I love him dearly.
- No sex. I knew myself and that was a sure way for me to get serious.
- The third and I think most important rule for this discussion was: Say YES to EVERY first date. If someone was brave enough to ask me out I said yes. I said yes to a 20 something, pot-smoking, glass blower. I said yes to a 60-something Harley-rider. You get the idea.
I learned a ton about myself and who I want to be around. It was an awesome experience. I can’t say that there were no tough times. I got pulled into some passive aggressive behavior with someone, which threw my brain into some old patterns. However, I got myself out within a week and I was so PROUD that I had figured it out and gotten out. I went on dates where I was uncomfortably liked right away, and dates where we had nothing to talk about. Each was a learning experience.
The best part of all of these rules was that they left me open to the LOVE OF MY LIFE. At the time we meet again was working as VFX artist in Los Angeles. If I had been looking for a partner and not just experiences at that time I would have not “wasted” my time with someone from LA. I knew I would not move away, my child and his father and I all need to live close together. The film industry is in LA so he “couldn’t” move…..See how I could have rationalized not even getting to know this person better?
Last night was our 5 year anniversary of the first time he flew to Seattle to see me. Now, he lives in Seattle with me and has found his own creative community here.
So what did I learn from all of this?
- Be open to what the universe has to offer.
- Be more into the experience than the outcome.
- Don’t over think new relationships. Don’t overanalyze, go with the flow.
- Say yes to new people in your life. You never know they could be a great new friend or the love of your life.
Now for the hard part, taking those lessons and bringing them into parts the business and financial parts of my life. Ok universe, opening myself up to what you have to offer.
Mindfully Organized comes from my heart and soul. Let me introduce myself. I am Rose Hawley-Perry, The De-Clutter Your Mind So Your Soul Can Shine Coach.
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