6 Things to Give Up in 2018

6 Things to Give Up in 2018


A new year is a good time to determine our focus for the year. This article was first featured in the December 2017 edition of Badassery Magazine.  You can check out my article here. As you look at your 2018 goals, here are 6 things to give up so you can actually get the important things done:

First Thing To Give Up: Doubting Yourself

Feeling Good is Feeling God. ~ Gabby Bernstein

1. Doubting Yourself: This is a tough one to conquer, isn’t it!?! We can be our own worst critic. We doubt ourselves in so many ways. First, we doubt our decisions and analyze the hell out of things. I call this analysis paralysis. The truth is when we are faced with a decision; usually the first thought that we think is our intuition trying to guide us. When we start letting the internal and external chatter sway us, we get stuck. Next time you find yourself in the circle of self-doubt, say “cancel” and re-frame the situation in a positive way. Affirm your true worth because the fact is you were made for greatness! Trust that.

Affirm your true worth because the fact is you were made for greatness! Trust that. Click To Tweet

Second Thing To Give Up: Negative Thinking


2. Negative Thinking: When we doubt ourselves, we question our divine source. When we get into the cycle of negative thinking, this turns into negative habits, which turns into beliefs and it’s all just one vicious cycle that’s difficult to break. We have over 65,000 thoughts a day and most of them are negative. Worse, these thoughts are mostly subconscious. The good news is you can change this. It takes deliberate practice and an intention to think positively. Next time you hear yourself think or say something negative, stop yourself by affirming “cancel” or “stop” followed by saying the opposite. Start with the words I AM… “I am” are two of the most powerful words in the universe so pay special attention to what follows these two powerful words. Alternatively, you can say, “I choose…” and notice how your energy shifts.

It takes deliberate practice and an intention to think positively. Click To Tweet

Third Thing To Give Up: Worry and Fear


Do Not Judge Yourself When You Are Out Of Alignment. ~ Gabby Bernstein

3. Worry and Fear: Ah, where worry and fear is concerned, the struggle can be real. When we worry we aren’t in a state of joy or gratitude. We can only feel one thing at a time. When we are afraid, we lack trust. Trust in God/Universe, ourselves, life, and others. Think about the last time you worried about something. The actual outcome was probably nowhere near what was in your head, right? When it comes to failure, I believe we don’t fail. We are simply finding one more thing that won’t work. That means you are one step closer to success. Sometimes, when we are afraid of failure, that’s a clue that we should go for it and stretch ourselves. I challenge you to feel the fear and have the courage to work through it as the other side of fear is success! There is so much going on when we are afraid of success. Our fear can be around being judged by others.

I believe success is defined by how we live our lives and to what extent we are fulfilling our purpose. Click To Tweet

The more successful you are, the more visible you are and the more your life is open to being criticized. A mentor once told me, you aren’t truly successful in business until you have a hate webpage. I’m not sure about this but I do know that the more successful you are, the more you are able to help others. Being of service is one of the reasons we are here. I believe success is defined by how we live our lives and to what extent we are fulfilling our purpose. The more we live our lives on purpose, the more the universe conspires to bring you more so you can. In the end, our lives will be measured by one sentence… two if we are lucky. Pick your sentence TODAY! What do you want to be remembered for? Let THIS drive you past fears.

In the end, our lives will be measured by one sentence. Pick your sentence TODAY! Click To Tweet

To elaborate on the quote above by Gabby Bernstein, when you judge yourself, forgive yourself quickly. Be kind to yourself as you are the only one listening. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. The best way to get back in alignment from worry and fear is to forgive, take a deep breath, express gratitude and take inspired action.

Fourth Thing To Give Up: Procrastination


4. Procrastination: Are you the type of person that works best under pressure or under a deadline? If the closer to the deadline, the more creative and productive you get, think about it in terms of law of attraction. When we procrastinate, we create a vibration of delay. The truth is when we take time ahead of time to do something important; we create more space for good to come to us. We are also more productive. Next time you find yourself procrastinating in getting something done, set a block of time aside and get it DONE… then tell me how great you feel afterwards. Another way to think of procrastination is that it could be an intuitive nudge that “it” isn’t that important after all. If you don’t get “it” done in a reasonable amount of time, take it off your list. Nobody needs reminders of things that don’t serve them.

Nobody needs reminders of things that don’t serve them. Click To Tweet

Fifth Thing To Give Up: People Pleasing


5. People Pleasing: Do you put others first? Do you say YES to things you really want to say NO to? Are you afraid of what others think of you? The reality is what others think of you is truly none of your business. Also, you can’t effectively take care of others when you don’t take care of yourself first. Practice extreme self-care. When you say NO to the wrong things, you make room for the right YES’s to come into your life. Listen more to your internal guidance system. Establish healthy boundaries and practice extreme self-care.

When you say NO to the wrong things, you make room for the right YES’s to come into your life. Click To Tweet

Sixth Thing To Give Up: Perfectionism


6. Perfectionism: Perfectionism shows up in so many ways. It shows up when we don’t delegate because others won’t do something ‘the right way’. It shows up when we don’t release that product or service to market because the website isn’t ‘perfect’. Here’s a thought. It’s okay to fly the plane as you build it. Sometimes, good is good enough. I wouldn’t want a brain surgeon operating on me with anything less than a perfect record. Yet, nobody and nothing is perfect. Everything can be improved. In such a rapidly changing society, we are constantly changing anyhow. Build your plane as you fly it. Take imperfect action. This is the only way to make progress.

Take imperfect action. This is the only way to make progress. Click To Tweet


Here’s to an abundant, healthy, and happy 2018. Remember that you have the power within to be, do and have anything!



If you’d like additional support around your mindset and learn Three Processes To Improve Your Mindset, I invite you to check out this resource in my Etsy Store.  The simple processes I outline here were KEY to help retrain my brain! Go HERE and check it out. 


Follow me

Tandy Elisala

Family Caregiver Coach, Cancer Empowerment Advocate and Chief Inspiration Officer at Center for Inspiring Greatness | Empowered Family Caregiver
Tandy Elisala is passionate about helping family caregivers go from being overwhelmed and stressed to empowered and calm. Tandy went through cancer four times and learned how to heal using conventional, complementary, and alternative therapy. Tandy left her corporate career to take care of both parents simultaneously while raising three kids as a single mom. She took care of both parents for 2 1/2 years until their respective deaths. Tandy now teaches what she learned on her journey. Tandy is a family caregiver coach, a multiple best-selling author, inspirational speaker and mom to three adult kids, one angel dog and one diva cat.

Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/groups/EmpoweredFamilyCaregiver

©Copyright 2003-Present All rights reserved
Follow me
11 replies
  1. Joyce Hansen
    Joyce Hansen says:

    All great inspiring points, Tandy. I’m still working on improving my imperfection. Not that I aspire to make it perfect, but I do want to minimize the errors and mistakes. Sometimes, I go back and correct something. Before, I use to get mad for not catching the error in the first place. Now, I’m grateful for the opportunity to fix it.

    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Thanks for your comments, Joyce! I think perfectionism is something many of us deal with! It’s a tough one. I love the way you reframe things to gratitude.

  2. Rachel Lavern
    Rachel Lavern says:

    I love the fresh starts and a new year is like a big, blank canvas for us right now. Your post reminds us to make sure that we do not have things holding us back from achieving our goals and dream before we begin to paint on the 2018 canvas.

    This year could be the best you’ve ever had. We usually start thinking about what we can improve every new year and this is a great start.

  3. Sonya Kolodziejska
    Sonya Kolodziejska says:

    It really does come down to mindset a lot doesn’t it? I find when i am in the right frame of mind i am on it like sonic and none of the above come into play. But on a down day, all of the above can easily apply.
    Thankfully i don’t have too many of those days!

  4. Tamuria
    Tamuria says:

    Great advice, Tandy. All these things can really hold us back from achieving all we can. There are times each one of these things challenges me, but I’ve learned to let go of negative feelings. I still struggle with the people pleasing thing but find I am getting better at not doing this as I get older.

    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      I think as we get older we all find things easier that we used to find difficult. I think surrounding yourself with children helps, too. I know you do that a lot:-)


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *