5 Things to NEVER Apologize For
Earlier this week, I facilitated a discussion about boundaries, family dynamics and self-care for a depression support group in Phoenix, AZ. As we discussed these topics, I emphasized that “NO” is a complete sentence. I encouraged participants to say NO to what doesn’t align with their values or goals. Saying NO can be difficult; particularly if we are conditioned to say YES or want to please others. This got me thinking about things we apologize for or justify; such as the story that ensures when saying no to something. Then, I thought… whatshould we never apologize for. The following list includes 5 Things to NEVER Apologize For:
1. Going to sleep early or sleeping in! Have you ever been around family at home and really wanted to just go to bed but decide to stay up with the rest of the family? Have you ever wanted to sleep in and found yourself apologizing for it? You can’t possibly take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. Honor yourself and practice radical self-care. Go to sleep early or sleep in proudly! Here’s a funny little missive.
2. Saying NO! You knew this was coming, right!?! I recognize saying ‘no’ can be difficult for a number of reasons. The important thing to remember here is to say no to what doesn’t serve you and don’t apologize for it! Here are some alternatives to just saying no:
- I’m unable to commit to that right now.
- I really appreciate you asking me, however, I’m unable to do xxx.
- I’m going to say no for now. I’ll let you know if that changes.
- I’m honored that you would ask me, however, my answer is no.
- I understand you really need my help but I’m just not able to say yes to that.
“ Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~ Brene Brown
3. Taking Vacations! You work hard and play hard and deserve every vacation you take. I’ve actually heard people apologize for taking vacations. Never apologize for a vacation! If you feel you have to apologize for taking a vacation, you may want to evaluate the situations and types of people around you.
4. Letting Go of Friendships that No Longer Serve you! Let’s face it, not all friendships are designed to be for the long haul. Some people are in our lives for a time and a season and may not serve us as we grow. Other friends are like maintenance friends.They are people we don’t spend a lot of time with or talk to very often but we still send them cards, the occasional texts or call them periodically. Then, there are lifetime friends. These are people that are with you through thick and thin and are there for the long haul. They are positive and help lift you up. They serve as a positive influence in your life and they love seeing your light shine (as you do theirs). The new year is a good a time as any to evaluate your friendships and unapologetically let go of friends that bring you down or fall into the ‘here for a season’ category. Release, let go and say this:
5. Being Happy! Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone makes their own happiness and finding happiness within is the best happiness there is. Whatever you do, never, ever apologize for being happy.
It’s YOUR turn: Which of these 5 things resonates with you the most? Can you think of anything else we should never apologize for? Please comment below!
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