Self Confidence and the Power of Words

Self Confidence and the Power Of Words, by Amy Zellmer


Positive Thinking Word Cloud Concept in Red CapsI’m changing things up this week! I have a guest blogger and friend, Amy Zellmer, talking to us about two of my favorite topics: Self Confidence and the Power of Words. Those that know me know how much I believe in the power of words. The words “I am” are two of the most powerful words in the universe. Everything that follows these words has immense power. Enjoy this article and pick up some tips that will help give your self confidence a boost!


Today I want to talk about the Power of Words and eliminating negative words from your vocabulary.

No more:  Don’t, won’t, can’t, shouldn’t

The universe doesn’t recognize negative words. Therefore you are actually telling it you want more of what you’re saying. (“I don’t want crabby clients”…..turns into “give me more crabby clients”) I hear far too many talented creatives talk about can’t, won’t, shouldn’t and it floors me!

When you use negative words you are telling yourself to believe it to be true.

These aren’t the only words that are negative. By using regular words in a negative way also has the same negative effects on our lives. (ex: I want to lose 10 pounds so I am no longer fat!) What is the positive stimuli that you can replace that with? (I want to lose 10 pounds so I feel lighter and vibrant and more energetic). WOW! Can’t you just feel the difference in those two statements?? Going from a negative to a positive has a PROFOUND effect!

Also, using “want to” and “try to” can be negative to ourselves. I “want to” be a great entrepreneur one day. NO, you ARE a great entrepreneur. You need to start believing in yourself. I know it feels uncomfortable and awkward  at first… but the more you do it the more natural it becomes.  “I’ll try to do that” NO… you’re GOING to do that. When you say want or try you are giving yourself an escape route, a cop out.

A lot of times we don’t even realize we’re using these words and harming ourselves. I want you to start really paying attention to the wording that you use.When you catch yourself using a negative word, stop yourself and rephrase. Once you become very conscious of what you’re saying you will be amazed at the shifts and changes you see start happening in your life.

I remember when I first starting becoming conscious of the words I used. I would catch myself saying something like “My clients wouldn’t want that” and I would immediately catch it, stop what I was saying, and rephrase to something like “you know what, my clients WOULD like that something like that”. Holy cow what a powerful tool to be able to control what we are thinking!! I immediately started seeing results. Do I still occasionally catch myself saying these words?! of course I do! But i’m not hard on myself and I try my hardest to change what I am trying to convey!! The power is in being AWARE and making a conscious shift in thinking!

I am awesome text on cardboard

A lot of these negative statements come from deep seeded beliefs and fears in ourselves. Using negative words and phrases can be detrimental to our business, as well as to ourselves personally. It is next to impossible to have self confidence if you are using negative words and phrases.


It’s your turn: What are some of the negative things you are aware that you have been saying? How can you turn that into a positive? Push yourself with these. If you can’t believe in yourself, why on earth should anybody else? You’ve totally got this!!  Please comment below!




Amy Zellmer is a Creative Coach who lives in Saint Paul, MN with her Yorkie, Pixxie. She works with Creative Entrepreneurs who are ready to work through the issues that are holding them back and keeping them stuck. She believes that we ALL deserve as much success as we aspire to have, and she can help you get there!! Grab her free toolkit “3 Simple Strategies To Supercharge Your SUCCESS!!” at: and connect with Amy on social media: – –


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Tandy Elisala

Founder and Chief Inspiration Officer at Center for Inspiring Greatness
Tandy Elisala is passionate about bringing hope and wholehearted living to people going through cancer and their caregivers. Tandy went through cancer four times and learned how to heal using conventional, complementary, and alternative therapy. She left her 23-year corporate career to take care of both parents simultaneously for 2 ½ years. She now teaches what she learned on her journey and how to thrive during and after cancer using the true sources of health and healing: hope and mindset, spiritual connection, relationships, alignment and mind, body healing. Tandy is a multiple best-selling author, radio show host, mother of three grown kids and her precious dog, Roxy. Learn more about Tandy at

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41 replies
  1. Rose Hawley-Perry
    Rose Hawley-Perry says:

    A great start in changing our life is changing how we talk about what is going on. The world is so filled with victim language that it is hard to even hear yourself using it sometimes.

    As Michele pointed out using words of choice is so much more empowering. Not I can’t write but, “Right now I am concentrating on other things.” It has made a huge difference in my life. I work hard at noticing when the”I can’t because” or the I shouldn’t because” start slipping in and I start letting some of my power slip away.

    ~Rose Hawley-Perry
    Mindfully Organized.

  2. Michele Christensen
    Michele Christensen says:

    I like to use words that emphasize that I have a choice. Instead of “I can’t go,” I might say “I’m not going” or “I’m doing something else.” It feels more empowering, and many times we do have alternate choices.

  3. PJ Van Hulle
    PJ Van Hulle says:

    Woo-hoo! You are SO preaching to the choir! : D

    I do believe that the words I use shape my reality.

    For more goodness on this topic, I recommend “Positive Words, Powerful Results – Simple Ways to Honor, Affirm, and Celebrate Life” by Hal Urban.

    Love & Prosperity,


    PJ Van Hulle
    Executive Director
    Real Prosperity, Inc.

    “Have Fun. Do Good. Make Money.”
    PJ Van Hulle recently posted…Discover the Hidden Gold in Your E-mail ListMy Profile

  4. Gertruida Dowse
    Gertruida Dowse says:

    Powerful words. The words “I am” is so powerful also in relationship, because it is honest and help in the listening process without be defensive.
    A positive reminder for me to focus on today as I am on my way to a group debriefing session.

  5. Kimberly Eldredge
    Kimberly Eldredge says:

    LOOOOOONG before I “got” the power of this I used it. But the more I think about it, the more I’m surprised it worked.

    When I was 12, I was on a swim team. And like a lot of little kids on swim teams, I caught plantar warts on my feet. By the time I was in college they’d spread pretty much all over my feet and toes. And the foot doctor wouldn’t/couldn’t cut them out or burn them off. He told me, “Kim, you’re an author — WRITE them away!”

    Since I’d tried everything (and I LITERALLY mean everything!) I made a bracelet out of string. And I decided that every time I saw it I would say “I have a wart-free body” and keep going until the bracelet fell off.

    Funny thing, about 60 days later the bracelet was gone and so were the warts!

    Even though the wording wasn’t the best (“I have healthy skin” is a “positive” statement) the whole thing worked. I’ve never been troubled by warts since.
    Kimberly Eldredge recently posted…Turning a transcript into a bookMy Profile

  6. Mary Ellen Miller
    Mary Ellen Miller says:

    Excellent post Amy! At a very basic level I find I catch myself when teaching the 4 year old pre-schoolers each Sunday. Instead of saying, “don’t run” I work very hard to say, “walk please.” There is a huge difference between the two. I love the idea of reminding ourselves of the positive in our work. Just the other day I hear Success magazine guru Darren Hardy say, “I am in control of my own destiny” and i wrote that down. Love it!
    Mary Ellen Miller recently posted…An Attitude of GratitudeMy Profile

    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Mary Ellen, thanks for your comments. It reminds me of how I used to say to the kids “don’t forget to take out the trash” and changed it to “Please remember to take out the garbage.” Just that small shift really made a difference in their memory!

  7. Jessica
    Jessica says:

    Great guest writer Tandy! I love these topics and I’m so conscious of my unconscious not recognizing negatives. So why use them? It’s all about positivity 🙂


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