Self-Care, Goals and the Concept of Time
I was just interviewed by a recent friend about self-care and the concept of time and wanted to share some insights.
A Little Background
I don’t share this very often. I got married when I was 19 years old. I had my daughter Amanda when I was 20 years old. I immediately went to college. I did my undergraduate degree in management with a minor in human resources. I worked in corporate America. I was climbing the corporate ladder. Then I had my second daughter, Sarah, while I was in school. After graduating, I immediately started my graduate degree. While I was wrapping that up, I got pregnant with my son, Steven, and I continued to climb the corporate ladder. It wasn’t an 8 to 5 job. It was very, very demanding.
My then husband (otherwise called WASbund) was extremely supportive of my education. He worked nights and I worked days. When I got home from work, basically, he was off to work. I had the kids to myself. We didn’t have any family in the state. We had nobody except ourselves. I went to school. I doubled up on coursework in my graduate degree and defended my thesis three weeks before our son was born. At the time, we were moving into a house a month before Steven was due. I laugh now because it’s kind of crazy that we did all this.
When I had kids, I didn’t take time off with Amanda and Sarah. I was entrenched in corporate America and the rat race. My boss put a fax machine in my house. Yes, back in the days when fax machines existed – lol. I would hold Sarah in one hand and I would write with the other, and fax, and work all hours. It was craziness when I think about it.
The Concept of Time
In corporate America, whenever people would come into my office and say to me, “I don’t have time to go to school, Tandy, because I’m raising a family, because I’m planning my wedding, because I’m taking care of my husband, because I have dogs, because whatever.” I would say, “When it becomes important enough to you, you will make time.”
So, what is something that you have been wanting to do, and you have made excuses, you have made great justifications for why you don’t have time for said thing. Think about what you are valuing because this whole concept of time is about whatever we value is where we invest our time. We spend our time on what we value. We spend our time on what we value. Click To Tweet
If you value education, you’re going to make time for that, whether it’s formal education or your own personal development. If you value relationships, you’re going to invest time in that. If you value your health, you’re going to invest time in that.
Today, my friend asked me, “How much time do you invest in self-care a day?” I said, “No less than two hours, between two and three hours a day.” She asked, why do you invest that much time?” I said, “Because I value my health, I value myself, and I choose to invest that time.” Our conversation then shifted to do you still have time for your business, for your kids, for all the different moving parts in my life. I said, “Absolutely. In fact, the time that I do spend is better because I’m more productive, I’m more focused, and I find more often than not that I’m focused on the right things.”
You don’t have to spend two or three hours a day on self-care, but I want to ask you, how much time do you invest in yourself… in your self-care? If you don’t invest time in yourself, what excuse do you have for not investing that time in you, because after all, self-love is the most important love. It’s the best love. The extent to which you are able to live your life with passion and purpose, the extent to which you are able to lead a life that matters, to leave a legacy beyond yourself, has direct correlation with self-love and with how effectively you are treating yourself.
No one’s perfect. There are days that I’m just rolling out of bed going, “Oh, my gosh, yoga. Okay.” Once I’m there, I’m hyped, and it’s all good. But if there’s something in your life that you have been wanting to do, and you aren’t doing it, figure out why and change it. Remember, you invest time on things you value. That’s the bottom line.
Here’s something to help you with self-care
My friend Teresa and I are co-hosting a beautiful, magical Goddess Retreat Virtual Sanctuary. It’s a nine-day, beautiful exploration of the divine feminine. It’s taken a lot of time and energy to put this kind of high-vibration retreat together. We do it because we value our work in the world. We value our divine feminine. We value that in all women and we want to celebrate that. With this busy holiday season upon us, take some time just for you.
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We all have stories around why we can or can’t or did or didn’t or should or shouldn’t or could or couldn’t do things. It’s about getting beyond those limiting beliefs, beyond those excuses, beyond those reasons that sound perfectly reasonable at the time, and investing in yourself and what matters. What matters is that you are healthy, that you have awesome relationships, that you have the freedom, whatever that looks like for you, and that you’re happy and you have peace. That’s what we all want, right? That ultimate freedom. I dare you to find ONE thing… ONE way that you can exercise better self-care and implement it. Let me know how it goes.
Are you living your life with passion and purpose? Do you love yourself first? How do you demonstrate that self-love every day through your self-care practice? Are you leading a life that matters? At the end of the day, those are the things that are going to matter. Whatever you do, take time for yourself.
Tandy lives in Tempe, Arizona, with her three kids and amazing angel dog. Order Tandy'sbooks at http://www.tandyelisala.com or www.amazon.com.
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