How You Live in Fear and How To Turn This Around

How You Live in Fear and How To Turn This Around

How You Live in Fear and How To Turn This Around

Our minds can only focus on ONE thing at a time. Are you focused on fear or joy? Are you inundated with worry or do you infuse your mind and life with gratitude?

Here are some of the ways we live in fear:

1. You’re afraid you’ll be rejected or criticized. Being judged or feeling like you are being judged or ignored is a horrible feeling.
2. You’re afraid that nobody will be interested in your products or services and let  your dream die.
3. You’re afraid you won’t be taken seriously.
4. You’re afraid of doing or saying something embarrassing.
5. You’re afraid that you are too old to change OR you are afraid you are too young to make a difference.
6. You’re afraid of upsetting family and friends with what you might say or do.
7. You’re afraid you don’t have enough credentials behind your name.
There’s *always* something that creeps up in heads, isn’t there!?! Seriously, we could talk for hours about all the ways we allow fear and worry in our lives. In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magicshe shared a profound way she acknowledges fear and I’d like to share this here. See page 25 if you have this book and want to follow along.
“Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to to anything interesting – and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring.

There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still – your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”

How awesome is that!?! I truly believe that when we change our thoughts, we can change our life.

Here are some tips for changing our thoughts:

1. Allow your fearful feelings to rise to the surface and sit with your feelings. Remember that feelings buried alive never, ever, ever die. The more you can welcome your feelings, the faster you can move beyond and lift your life to greatness.

2. Have a daily gratitude practice. This really does help shift your mind with thoughts that lift you up.

3. Let negative people who bring you down off of your train and send them away with love.

4. Ask yourself what worries or fears you don’t have control over and make the decision to turn them over to God. Making this an intentional practice helps your mind let it go.

5. Find things that are going well for you. Look for proof every day of the good stuff. I call this my ‘Evidence of Success’.
Remember, most fears and worries scare you into thinking all these horrible things will happen and these things almost never happen. Stretch yourself. LOVE yourself enough to create loving boundaries and feel the fear and do it anyway!

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Tandy Elisala

Family Caregiver Coach, Cancer Empowerment Advocate and Chief Inspiration Officer at Center for Inspiring Greatness | Empowered Family Caregiver
Tandy Elisala is passionate about helping family caregivers go from being overwhelmed and stressed to empowered and calm. Tandy went through cancer four times and learned how to heal using conventional, complementary, and alternative therapy. Tandy left her corporate career to take care of both parents simultaneously while raising three kids as a single mom. She took care of both parents for 2 1/2 years until their respective deaths. Tandy now teaches what she learned on her journey. Tandy is a family caregiver coach, a multiple best-selling author, inspirational speaker and mom to three adult kids, one angel dog and one diva cat.

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3 replies
  1. Camilla Hallstrom
    Camilla Hallstrom says:

    SO true, Tandy! I can relate to several of these points! What’s helped me overcome my fears is one of the points you mention; identifying what’s going well for you/things you do well. Over time, it becomes easier and easier to overcome your fears 🙂

    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Thanks for your comments, Camilla! I’m so glad identifying what’s working well for you has helped to overcome your fears. I’d love to know what else has worked for you!


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