Finding Roses: A Beautiful Story of Unconditional Love & Intuition

Finding Roses: A Beautiful Story of Unconditional Love & Intuition

Finding Roses_ Blog_TandyElisala
April 30, 2012, my mother was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia. With her COPD, congestive heart failure, asthma, diabetes, severe stage four-kidney failure, large blistering wounds accompanying severe leg swelling, and the rattling breathing sounds, she was in bad shape.
When my daughter Sarah and I visited my mom, she looked different. She appeared resigned, sullen, and quiet. Usually when she is in hospitals, she has a long list of things to bring from home. This time was different. As Sarah lay across her grandma’s hospital bed, my mom started caressing Sarah’s hair. As we left, my mom asked Sarah to do a quick dance and sing something for her. You see, Sarah has always been the dramatic one who loves to dance and be the center of attention and  the  center  of  laughter  in  our  home.  Her bubbly personality and contagious love for life brought joy to my parents. Sarah did a little dance twirl thing and my mom smiled and said, “Thank you, Sarah. I love you.” Sarah said “I love you, too, Grandma” and gave her a hug. I gave my mom a hug and said, “I love you, Mom.”  She replied, “I love you more” to which I replied, “I love you more.” As I said that, we were in the hallway leaving her room and, as I turned back, I could see her smiling. This was the last time I would hug her and feel her embrace, see her beautiful smile and feel her unwavering love beaming from every ounce of her physical being. As we walked down the hall to the elevator, I was fighting back the tears. This was the second time in my life my mom said, “I love you more.”
I couldn’t help shake the feeling that this time was different. Around 10:00 pm, I received a call from my mom’s nurse saying that she went into cardiac arrest and she was unable to breathe on her own. They put her on a ventilator and moved her to Intensive Care. I didn’t get much sleep that night. My dad was scheduled for gall bladder surgery the next day at another hospital. After letting him know of my mom’s changing condition, he decided to proceed with surgery.
The next morning as I completed pre-op details with my dad’s nurse, Amanda called from my mom’s hospital. She is crying and had a panic in her voice I’d never heard before. She quivered, “You need to get down here right now, Mom. You need to be  here  now!”  My mom’s blood pressure was around 40/25. I told Amanda to tell my mom that she needs to hold on until her babies get there. As Amanda told her this, my mom’s blood pressure teetered around 70/50.
I started shaking and I could feel my pulse beating hard and my blood pressure rising. Leaning up against the counter in the next room to maintain balance, I immediately called Felicity and told her she needed to leave work and get to the hospital immediately. Leaving my dad’s belongings with the nurse and relying on a friend to take care of my dad, I kissed my dad, told him what was happening, and, with a sad face, he said, “Tell her I love her.”
I’m so thankful Amanda was at the hospital with my mom as her condition went from bad to worse within hours. One hour we were talking hospice and the next we were reconciling that she would die right there in the hospital room. Felicity, Amanda, Sarah, Steven, and I stood around her bed. I noticed that all of us were touching her in some way. Over the next 5½ hours, we all watched her condition deteriorate. I did notice, however, that when we would get up close to her head and talk to her, her vitals improved…for a few moments. During this time, we cried, we sang, we prayed, and we talked to her as we played some of her favorite songs.
When we played ABBA’s song “Dancing Queen,” her left foot moved through the song as if it was her way of dancing. Then, we each sat around her bed, held hands, and went around the room saying what we were thankful and grateful for about her. We did this several times around the room. We told her it was okay to go. We played songs that had messages of love as dedications from us to her. Most songs we played for us all and sang to were songs she loved. We all talked about memories we had of her over the years. We told jokes. We cried some more. It really was beautiful.
It was a serendipitous moment when we all looked at each other and felt complete. Immediately, my mom’s remaining life force energy slowly sucked away. Nurses told us it was close and said to let her know when we were ready to turn off the machine. Felicity and I touched our mom, looked at each other across the bed, and gave the okay to terminate life support.
With the machine off, we all sat and waited and watched and cried. A few minutes later, my mom opened her glossy eyes, turned her head asking what was going on. After some discussion, her face softened and she leaned into her pillow.  Time of death: May 2, 2012, at 3:25 pm. It was gloomy outside the entire day until the moment she died. Then, the sun came out and was beaming from her hospital window. Her soul was free. No more pain. What a beautiful thing. The day wouldn’t have been so  synergistic, beautiful, and peaceful had it been any other way.
It was what happened after my mom’s death that would demonstrate her powerful, unconditional love. Days after her death, I was at a local spiritual bookstore and purchased a beautiful ceramic angel statue with the saying “A Mother’s Unconditional Love” underneath. Days later was Mother’s Day. My spiritual mentor emailed me (out of the blue) and said that my mom hopes I enjoy the flowers for Mother’s Day. Say what!?! The kids got me an edible arrangements package in the shape of flowers. I thought that was what she was talking about. Then, I saw it…the very angel statue I just bought was of a mother putting her arms around her daughter and giving her a bouquet of roses. Wow. I got chills all over.  I treasure this statue and give thanks for the amazing spiritual connection I have with my mom. The day after I wrote this story, I received a beautiful message from my aunt with a recording of her singing “The Rose” to me. She said my mom and grandma kept insisting that she sing this song to me and that it would make sense.
It certainly did! I love signs from the Universe. What would have happened had Sarah and I not visited my mom when we did? What would my last memory of her be…or HER last memory with us? What would have happened if Amanda would have skipped visiting her grandma before jury duty that day? How would things have been different if we hadn’t followed our instincts and took my mom to the doctor that day? What about that beautiful statue or the voice recording I received from my aunt? My dad’s gall bladder surgery took longer than expected and he experienced complications. I wonder what his spirit was ‘doing’ during this time. Perhaps my parents were conversing:-) My dad didn’t come to until after my mom died. What a ‘coincidence’ that the sun came out just as my mom died when it had been rainy and gloomy all day. All things to make you go ‘hhhmmmmmm.’


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Tandy Elisala

Founder and Chief Inspiration Officer at Center for Inspiring Greatness
Tandy Elisala is passionate about bringing hope and wholehearted living to people going through cancer and their caregivers. Tandy went through cancer four times and learned how to heal using conventional, complementary, and alternative therapy. She left her 23-year corporate career to take care of both parents simultaneously for 2 ½ years. She now teaches what she learned on her journey and how to thrive during and after cancer using the true sources of health and healing: hope and mindset, spiritual connection, relationships, alignment and mind, body healing. Tandy is a multiple best-selling author, radio show host, mother of three grown kids and her precious dog, Roxy. Learn more about Tandy at

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