3 Grief Myths and How To Bust Through Them
There are so many facets to grief. There are many ways to manage and heal through grief. Some people have challenges grieving and moving through their feelings for a variety of reasons. Here are 3 grief myths and how to bust through them:
GRIEF MYTH #1: Grief is a bad thing.
On the surface, one might think that grieving is bad…that crying is bad…that expressing grief means you are stuck and if you just avoid it all together, the grief will go away. The opposite is true. The more you avoid your feelings and prevent them from surfacing, the more your feelings will be suppressed and the wider impact you’ll experience across other areas of your life. For example, if you are grieving a lost relationship and decide to suppress your feelings, it may be difficult to experience true intimacy with another relationship moving forward. Somehow, someway… feelings buried alive never die. They always ALWAYS manifest in your life in some way, shape or form. Remember that allowing yourself to truly feel what you are feeling is the ONLY way to heal.
GRIEF MYTH #2: If you just get “over it” things will be better.
One of my pet peeves is hearing someone say to someone else “Get over xxx.” I love this about as much as I love being outside in 120 degree weather in the middle of summer in Phoenix wearing a long sleeve polyester turtleneck. * I don’t!*We NEVER EVER get OVER things. We get THROUGH things. Click To Tweet
We NEVER EVER get OVER things. We get THROUGH things.Whether you’ve experienced a relationship loss, job/career loss, pet loss, money loss or any other kind of loss, it’s a grieving process (key word here is process). It takes time to get through the various layers of grief. If you aren’t allowing yourself to feel the grief and forgiveness (of others and yourself), you are stuffing your emotions and feelings buried alive never, ever die.
This month is about FREEDOM. The only way to truly be free is to effectively process grief and forgiving…for yourself.
GRIEF MYTH #3: Grieving makes the situation okay or will make you ‘forget’ the person or situation you are grieving.
Please understand that grieving is for YOU. There are so many forms of grief and reasons to grieve including:
- Loss of relationship
- Loss of job
- Loss of important material things
- Loss of home/finances
- Loss of health
- Loss of someone for who they were before (insert situation here)
When my dad suffered severe Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) after a horrific 20+ car pile up, I grieved the loss of the man he was before the accident. It was particularly difficult for me since I was his full-time caregiver and experienced my loss every.single.day as I took care of him. My kids experienced grief over the grandfather they lost and learned to accept who he was afterwards. My mom experienced the loss of her husband of 44 years at the time and had to learn to accept who he was since his accident. The same was true for my sister. It was a difficult time for everyone.
I learned to grieve the man we lost and embrace who my dad became while remembering the precious memories we held so dear. Grieving doesn’t mean you forget.. It means you love yourself enough to move through your emotions. If you are grieving the death of someone dear, you can still feel your feelings and move through the grief stages and remember the love and the relationship you had. You can learn to love again and that in no way diminishes the love you lost.
- You’ve got to FEEL in order to HEAL.
- You grieve to get THROUGH situations and experience true freedom for YOU.
- Grieving doesn’t diminish your love or positive aspects of the situation you are grieving. It’s allowing you to be free and have inner peace…which is the goal, after all!
It’s YOUR Turn: Have you experienced these grief myths or others? How has experiencing grief helped you in your life? Please comment below.
OUR NEXT FREE MONTHLY COACHING CALL IS JULY 27TH AND IS ALL ABOUT FORGIVENESS AND GRIEF.
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