20 Consequences of Being Out of Integrity

20 Consequences of Being Out of Integrity

20 Consequences of Being Out of Integrity

I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point in life. Where is “there?” THERE is saying or doing something that is out of integrity with who you are, what you stand for, or what you believe. We are all human after all! If we were ‘perfect’, we wouldn’t be human.

20 Consequences of Being Out of Integrity

Examples from my own life

I know I’ve been out of integrity a time or two…or 10 in my life! Here are some ways I’ve been out of integrity in my own life:

  1. Not doing what I said I was going to do. For example, I hired a health coach and agreed to certain things and wasn’t consistent.
  2. Not fulfilling my obligations.
  3. Saying YES to things I wanted to say NO to. Subsequently, I didn’t always DO the things I said YES to.
  4. Stopping just short of a goal.
  5. When I was 11, I literally busted in an apartment front door of someone who was talking poorly about my mom. Who knew I was so strong!?!
  6. Telling myself I would stop eating sugar and then proceeding to eat sugar!
  7. Not being honest with my “wasband” about my true feelings.
  8. Allowing my “wasband” to hurt us.
  9. Rolling through a stop sign.
  10. Taking words of someone I looked up to as my own.

In the case of #10, if I wanted to use her words, I should have asked for her permission and referenced her accordingly. I apologized to her and she accepted my apology. We don’t always have an opportunity to apologize or make things right when we’ve made a wrong decision.

Trust can take awhile to build and can be broken in an instant. Click To Tweet

20 consequences of being out of integrity with yourself

When we are out of integrity with ourselves, above and beyond hurting the person we wronged, we hurt ourselves! This hurt can show up in the following ways:

  1. We bargain with ourselves.
  2. We lose other people’s trust.
  3. We don’t trust ourselves.
  4. We feel like a failure.
  5. We experience energy shifts.
  6. We attract the wrong people and situations.
  7. We play small.
  8. We are exhausted… in more ways than one.
  9. We can get sad or depressed.
  10. Excuses become the ‘norm’.
  11. We don’t truly love ourselves.
  12. We allow fear to drive us.
  13. We lack self-confidence.
  14. We lack self-compassion.
  15. We can experience a weakened immune system.
  16. We experience a lack of abundance.
  17. We shop, eat emotionally or (insert other addictive behavior here).
  18. We set a poor example for our loved ones.
  19. We aren’t leading by example.
  20. We aren’t emotionally available for others.

One of the biggest challenges of leading from within

The toughest person to lead is ourselves! There are many reasons for this. One reason is we see everything we do through the lens of our intention. We see what OTHERS do through their actual actions and don’t really think about their intention for said actions. We can convince ourselves all day long that what we did wasn’t ‘that bad’ because we didn’t ‘intend to do harm.’

The toughest person to lead is ourselves! Click To Tweet

When we say or do things that hurt others, we risk the above consequences (and then some) and our relationship with others. Trust can take awhile to build and can be broken in an instant. In some cases, the damage is too much and trust can’t be rebuilt.

Remember, people are always watching what we say and do. We must be mindful to protect our integrity.

Your capacity to lead expands through trust. Click To Tweet

 

Four foundations of trust

Leading From Within

There are four foundations of trust. They include:

  1. Competence
  2. Connection
  3. Character
  4. Integrity

ALL FOUR must be present to truly embody trust. Remember, people are always watching what we say and do. We must be mindful to protect one of our most valuable assets… our trustworthiness.

It’s your turn: Have you ever said or done something that was out of integrity with your beliefs and/or values? What consequences did you experience? How do you ensure your behaviors are in alignment with your values? Please comment below!

 

 

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Tandy Elisala

Founder and Chief Inspiration Officer at Center for Inspiring Greatness
Tandy Elisala is passionate about bringing hope and wholehearted living to people going through cancer and their caregivers. Tandy went through cancer four times and learned how to heal using conventional, complementary, and alternative therapy. She left her 23-year corporate career to take care of both parents simultaneously for 2 ½ years. She now teaches what she learned on her journey and how to thrive during and after cancer using the true sources of health and healing: hope and mindset, spiritual connection, relationships, alignment and mind, body healing. Tandy is a multiple best-selling author, radio show host, mother of three grown kids and her precious dog, Roxy. Learn more about Tandy at www.tandyelisala.com.

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26 replies
  1. Lorii Abela
    Lorii Abela says:

    Integrity says a lot about a person. Even royalties and known celebrities are counted on their their integrity.Apparently, you cannot be also inauthentic to yourself. too.

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Lorii, that’s absolutely right. In fact, you must be authentic to yourself FIRST before you can be that for others.

      Reply
  2. Teresa Salhi
    Teresa Salhi says:

    That list really drives it home Tandy. We may think we sabotage ourselves in one or two ways or we may not even realize the detrimental impact at all. The list you put together is so well thought and and so darn true. When we can really see our consequences – we can better take ahold of living with more integrity and being our best – for ourselves and for others. Awesome article.
    Teresa Salhi recently posted…5 Stress Reducing Activities for Powerful Women EntrepreneursMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Anne
    Anne says:

    I would guess every commenter on this post has been guilty of:
    Saying YES to things I wanted to say NO to. Subsequently, I didn’t always DO the things I said YES to.
    It’s so easy to do! I never thought of it as being out of integrity but I guess you’re right!
    I am so guilty of this one too:
    Stopping just short of a goal.

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Hi Anne, stopping just short of the goal is such a shame when it happens, huh? It’s pretty amazing how we sabotage our efforts by saying yes to things we don’t want to do. Thanks for your comments!

      Reply
  4. Meghan
    Meghan says:

    Your list of consequences hit home and made me think! I also like the four foundations of trust. I’d never thought of these concepts in this way. Integrity is core to most of us. Without it, we’re out of balance!

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Meghan, I’m glad this article made you think and was helpful for you. The foundations and types of trust came to me in a divine download and I love thinking of trust and integrity in this way.

      Reply
  5. Apolline Adiju
    Apolline Adiju says:

    This resonates well with me especially when you mentioned “Saying YES to things I wanted to say NO to” I cannot count how many times I fall prey to this and regret at the end.

    Reply
  6. Kristen Wilson
    Kristen Wilson says:

    The driving infractions.. guilty.. but I’m okay with that… lol I usually do what I say but sometimes poo happens… so yea.. I can definitely say that I have had moments of weakness… but it still doesn’t change who I am.. which is someone who is a genuine, true and person of integrity. But I get your point!
    Kristen Wilson recently posted…Building Your Brand – AppropriatelyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Kristen, I hear ya with the driving infractions – lol. Stuff definitely happens. You are right that these things don’t change who we are… they amplify who we are. You are an amazing person:-)

      Reply
  7. Joyce Hansen
    Joyce Hansen says:

    An excellent point that we are harder to lead than anyone else. After all, we have all these reasons we can rationalize about ourselves as to why we are different. I’ll be bookmarking this so I can use it as a guide to find a greater sense of personal integrity. Right now, I’m especially out of integrity with sugar.
    Joyce Hansen recently posted…When Life Gives You Unexpected PrioritiesMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Geniece Brown
    Geniece Brown says:

    Hi Tandy,

    I have totally had times where I’ve said or done something to be out of my integrity and values. Usually, it was in a time of stress or feeling peer pressure. Those days are slim now, and I usually catch it and re-group to ensure I’m in right alignment.

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Geniece, it happens to all of us. You raise a great point about saying or doing things under stress or feeling peer pressure. As we grow older, we certainly grow wiser.

      Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      “My heart is a beautiful place to live”… that is SO beautiful, Candess. Integrity is a HUGE value for us all. Thanks for your comments.

      Reply
  9. Tamuria
    Tamuria says:

    So many good points in this, Tandy. It’s true, the hardest person to lead is ourselves – all that crazy chattering in our heads can surely lead us astray. Even truer is that trust can take a while to build and be broken in an instant. Then, of course, it’s even harder to get it back. I try to live with integrity but sometimes fail. I’m especially bad about saying yes to things I really don’t want to do. I almost always follow through – if I say it, I’ll do it – but I then have to deal with feelings of resentment, which is never a good thing.
    Tamuria recently posted…HOW TO MAKE THE EASIEST EASTER CRAFTS EVERMy Profile

    Reply
    • Tandy Elisala
      Tandy Elisala says:

      Tamuria, this is fabulous. You raise a great point about resentment. When we say yes to things we want to say no to, it’s great that we follow through but bad that we resent ourselves or others for it. This is a good lesson to only say yes to the RIGHT THINGS.

      Reply

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